| These are some of the questions we have had (or in some cases, anticipate) and their answers. If you have further questions, click HERE to send them an email at contact@jeffreyandsolomon.com. |
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| Background Questions: |
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| Q. | How Did You Meet? |
| A. | Solomon's Version
Solomon saw Jeffrey across a crowded room at the Gay Lawyer's Holiday Party. Solomon told his friend, George, "that's the man I am going to marry." |
| A. | Jeffrey's Version
Now for the real story… We met at the holiday party for the gay lawyers and gay doctors. He was attending with his doctor friend, George. Coincidentally, George was the sperm donor for the children of my friend, Kathy. Since I thought Solomon was so good looking, I used my acquaintance with George as an opportunity to speak to Solomon. After chatting him up for a while, I gave Solomon my business card and suggested that we “have coffee sometime.” About three weeks passed and I still hadn’t heard from Solomon. As I had no way to contact him, I called my friend Kathy and asked her to call George and suggest he set me up with Solomon. She did, and about a week later George called me and suggested that I attend a New Year’s Day party with him and Solomon. Of course, I agreed. They picked me up at my apartment and we went to the party together. Solomon and I spent several hours sitting together in the corner of the room talking and getting to know one another. From that moment on, I knew that we were meant to be together. |
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| Q. | Who Proposed? |
| A. | Jeffrey proposed to Solomon on their fifth anniversary, January 1, 2004. After having surprised Solomon with a spa day, and checking into a hotel for a little getaway, they went up to Mulholland Drive to admire the sunset before going to dinner. Jeffrey broke out the martinis and, while it was getting quite chilly, they sipped their cocktails and enjoyed the view. As the time to depart for dinner neared, Jeffrey knelt down to put away the glassware and pulled from his pocket the ring he had been hiding from Solomon. He then turned to Solomon, still on his knee, and asked him to marry him. Naturally, Solomon began to cry. And then, very romantically, he blurted out… “Why did you do that?!” Not the answer one might expect to such a gesture. But, as you can see, he did finally accept. |
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| Ceremony Questions: |
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| Q. | Is formal attire necessary? |
| A. | This event is formal and black tie attire is very much encouraged. However, if you do not own formalwear, put on your Sunday best and come anyway. |
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| Q. | I was not reading the home page for your website. Where is the event being held? |
| A. | We are having this event at Cicada, a wonderful restaurant located in downtown Los Angeles at 617 South Olive Street (near 6th and Olive). For more information, please click HERE. |
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| Q. | If I drive to Cicada, where should I park? |
| A. | Guests staying at the Omni Hotel could walk or take a taxi since it only a few blocks to Cicada. (The hotel may also be able to shuttle guests in its town car if it's available.) If you drive, there will be complementary valet parking at Cicada. |
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| Q. | I am only coming for the free meal. What will we be having for dinner? |
| A. | In addition to the tray passed hors d'ouevres, we are serving a four course meal, which will include an appetizer, salad, entree and dessert. For more details regarding the menu, please click HERE |
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| Q. | Okay. So I drink a bit. Will there be an open bar? |
| A. | Have you ever met us? Of course! There will be a cocktail reception immediately following the ceremony (with yummy hors d'oeuvres to coat the tummy) and the bar will stay open during the dinner and the post-dinner entertainment. |
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| Q. | There will be entertainment? Fantastic! I hope you have a clown. I love clowns. |
| A. | Sorry, no clowns. Actually, we will be having a very special after-dinner performer who will entertain you and, hopefully, get you out on the floor to cut a rug. In keeping with the historical location of our event, we are planning to feature music from the 20s, 30s and 40s. The performer will be Sweet Baby J’ai, singing all of our favorite standards. For more information about Sweet Baby J’ai, click HERE or visit her website at http://sweetbabyjai.com. |
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| Q. | How did Sweet Baby J'ai get her name? |
| A. | While growing up, Sweet Baby J’ai spent many nights with her cousins and great aunts and uncles while her mom worked her second job. The older aunts and uncles would say to her, “Come here, Sweet Baby. Sit down. We’re gonna tell you a story.” She didn’t mind. One of the story tellers was Uncle Vernon, who had played bass with Billie Holiday. |
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| Q. | What time will the evening end? |
| A. | We are starting the evening at about 5:00 p.m. and expect to end at around 10:00 p.m. |
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| Q. | Will Conrad be in the ceremony? |
| A. | Unfortunately, no. But he will enjoy having the house to himself and the opportunity to sleep and eat at will (not that he doesn’t do that anyway). To see photos of Conrad, please click HERE |
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| Q. | Since you are both guys, is this ceremony legal? |
| A. | We are sorry to say that, in California (as in most states), same-sex marriage is not yet legal. On January 1, 2002, we registered (click HERE to see some pictures) as domestic partners in the State of California. And then, in March of this year, we "eloped" to San Francisco to get married in a civil ceremony at City Hall (one of about 4,000 couples who were fortunate enough to experience the joy of having our relationship legally sanctioned), the California Supreme Court recently voided all of these marriages. (To read about our wedding click HERE and to read information about the Supreme Court’s opinion voiding our marriage, please click HERE.) Despite the set back, we continue to fight for legal recognition of same-sex marriage and ask for your continued support in this civil rights struggle. In the meantime, we continue to believe that no government body or court can invalidate the bond we share or the value of our relationship. And we appreciate your sharing with us this opportunity to celebrate our union. |
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| Q. | Who will be officiating at your ceremony? |
| A. | We have asked a friend of ours, Zeke Zeidler, who is an openly gay judicial officer for the Los Angeles County Superior Court. Since we are both attorneys, we thought that this was an appropriate choice. |
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| Q. | Who is in your ceremony party? |
| A. | We have asked our dear friends, Charles, Dominic, Ira, Jim, Julie, Miles, and Steve, as well as Jeffrey's brother, Chris, to be our attendants. For more information, click HERE. |
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| Q. | Who is doing your flowers |
| A. | Rita Flora will be doing all of the flowers. For more information, click HERE. |
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| Q. | Who is doing your photography |
| A. | Lorenzo Gomez will the photographer. For more information, click HERE. |
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| Q. | Will I get to sit with my friends or family at dinner? |
| A. | Not likely. We will be carefully planning the seating arrangements so that people get to meet and talk with other people they don’t already know. After dinner, for the entertainment, you will be free to roam and mingle as you please. |
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| Q. | Will we get to meet Jeffrey's & Solomon’s parents and other family members? |
| A. | Do you really want to? If so, you are probably in luck. Our parents are planning on attending - as are various siblings, nieces and nephews, and other family members. Actually, to be honest, that is the very reason we are doing this after having been together for so long already. We really want our disparate friends and family members to meet and socialize – to get to know us better because of where we came from and who we are surrounded by. |
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| Q. | Why on earth did you decide to have this event on New Year’s Day? |
| A. | Because that is the anniversary of our first date. In fact, our ceremony is being held on our sixth anniversary. |
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| Children Related Questions: |
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| Q. | May I bring my child to the ceremony? |
| A. | No. Please do not bring any children to the ceremony. This is an adults only affair.
(A lot of people are asking about this. This is not a slight to your child, who we are sure is a perfect little angel who never, ever, cries or has tantrums in public. We are not even having a flower-girl or ringbearer.) |
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| Q. | What if he/she won't cry/scream/eat/burp/etc? |
| A. | No. |
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| Q. | What if I'm your brother/sister/aunt/uncle/king of the universe? |
| A. | No. |
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| Q. | What if I can't find a babysitter and I tried real hard? |
| A. | No. |
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| Q. | What if you put "and guest" on my invitation? |
| A. | No. |
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| Q. | I know you have said no child may attend, but my child is so good I am going to bring him/her anyway. Okay? |
| A. | No. We cannot physically prevent you from doing so, but if you cannot respect our wishes on this issue we would rather you did not attend. If you do show up with your child, you will be asked to leave. No offense, but we really do want this to be an adults only affair. |
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| Q. | Okay. I will honor your request. But what can I do about hiring a babysitter? |
| A. | We will be arranging for a child care suite at the hotel and arranging for a qualified babysitter to stay with the children while the parents are at the ceremony and reception. You will be expected to contribute to the cost of this service. If you wish to arrange for your own private sitter, you may wish to contact Family Care Agency at (310) 550-8936. |
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| Travel Related Questions: |
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| Q. | If I am coming from out of town, where should I stay? |
| A. | We have reserved a block of rooms at the Omni Hotel Los Angeles at California Plaza, located at 251 South Olive Street, Los Angeles, California. To obtain the discounted rate, call Omni Hotels at (800) 843-6664 and ask for the Erdman/Mangolini room block. (For more information about the hotel, click HERE or go to www.omnihotels.com.) Alternatively, there are many other hotels in downtown Los Angeles – including most major chain hotels – some more expensive than others. You are free to stay whereever you like - just don’t plan to stay with us. |
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| Q. | If I am coming from out of town, should I rent a car? |
| A. | That depends on whether you want to be stuck downtown during your entire stay. As you may realize, LA is a very big place. While you can get around downtown by walking or taking a cab, you would probably want to rent a car to go pretty much anywhere else in the city. For discounted car and airline reservations, call American Airlines at (800) 433-1790 and ask for the Erdman/Mangolini discount rates. |
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| Other Questions: |
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| Q. | Where are you registered? |
| A. | What a GREAT question! We are registered at Williams-Sonoma and at Macy's. Click HERE to see our registry. |
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| Q. | I am going to be sending you a gift that is not from your registry (or, its on your registry but I am not getting it through Williams-Sonoma or Macy's). Where do I send it? |
| A. | You can send it to: Bennett & Erdman, 5670 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 1400, Los Angeles, CA 90036. If you decide to send it to our home instead, we are sure our neighbors or passersby will appreciate your gift, since we will not, of course, be home to sign for it and it will wind up sitting at our front door for whoever wants to take it. |
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| Q. | We can find the stuff on your registry cheaper than at Williams-Sonoma or Macy's. Can we buy it elsewhere? |
| A. | Sure. Go for it. |
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| Q. | Would you accept a cash gift instead? |
| A. | Are you kidding? How do you think we are paying for the honeymoon? |
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| Q. | I am coming from out of town, what days do I need to be there? |
| A. | If you are in the ceremony party, you will be needed on Friday, December 31, 2004 (during the day only) and the evening of January 1, 2005.
If you are not in the ceremony party, you can plan to just spend the weekend. (See above for travel related questions.) |
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| Q. | Where are you going on your honeymoon? |
| A. | We leave on Monday, January 3rd for Australia, with a side trip to Hong Kong. We will be gone for about three weeks. No cell phone. No email. No work. (Can we leave tomorrow?) |
